“Fake it till you make it” is what they say. To most people, confidence does not come naturally and it all goes back to the whys; Why are you not confident? Why are you feeling less of a person? Why do you struggle to love yourself?
It is all about our insecurities and whether we are able to see it or not, everyone is dealing with their own. Most of the time the reason why we find it difficult to be confident or to just love ourselves is simply because we are too aware of how we are lacking and where we are lacking - especially if there were to be a comparison.
However – if you think again about the insecurities you have; are they really your weaknesses or is it only in your eyes?
In this entry, we have compiled insecurity talks to help you stand tall and it serves as a reminder from us - it is never too late to start loving yourself again no matter when, as long as you start somewhere.
Insecurity Talk 1 – “I will never be the best because nothing I do will ever be good enough.”
Here's one thing we can tell you - your 'best' changes every season, every chapter of your life. Because you grow every day, you are a better person every day.
If you are chasing to be the best of the best of the best - it will be an endless cycle and you will be tired your entire life.
Slow down and look back.
Often times when you are feeling like that, you are focusing too much on what is coming, instead of seeing how far you've come - you have always given your best, at all times, in everything you do. Acknowledge that and be proud of that because everyone around you is already proud of you.
Practice asking yourself, why are you so hard on yourself - is it because of childhood trauma, peer pressure or fear of failure? It always helps to know where it all came from.
Insecurity Talk 2 – “I struggle to find the time to rest, to spend time with myself and end up not taking care of myself.”
If you are too busy to even spend a little time with yourself – you know you need to check back on your boundaries. Take your time to go through your schedule.
In order to have time for yourself, you need to advocate for yourself and be respectful of your time because you will not get back your time spent. Start practicing self-awareness, so you understand what you have control over and you can rearrange your priority.
One tips we like - treat your 'Me Time' like an appointment or a meeting; you need to follow through. Before ending your day, practice giving yourself at least 30 mins of self-love - whether it’s reading a book, a warm bath, or even just a walk outside. During this time, you will not let anything/anyone take away that short amount of me-time.
It will be just you, spending time with yourself.
Insecurity Talk 3 – “I cannot stop comparing myself with other people that had it better than me.”
It only makes sense for you to start comparing yourself to the others simply because to you - there are always better options than you, leaving you to doubt yourself.
Nobody is built the same and comparison will only set unrealistic expectations for ourselves based on other people's standards. You are not them and they will never be you.
There will always be someone better, anywhere you go or any period of time in your life – but you have your own charms, your own smile. No one will ever have the same eyes as yours, too.
Practice on the way you talk to yourself - in a positive or negative voice, it will impact how you view yourself and that is what matters the most.
Insecurity Talk 4 – “I find it difficult to lose weight to have an ideal body.”
When we talk about losing weight, the key point we highlight will always be calorie deficit.
If you have been trying everything but failed to lose weight in any way; you probably are taking in more calories than you burn.
You can practice keeping tabs of the calories you consumed or change the food you eat on the daily. If not, exercise more and drink enough water according to your body weight – yes we have different water needs according to our weight.
Either that or it could be because you have been setting the goal unrealistically high within a short period of time which ends up in you being too hard, too critical on yourself.
At the end of the day, always go for healthy. As long as you are healthy and happy - your weight should not be a problem.
Insecurity Talk 5 – “I feel ugly and I feel judged every day.”
If you look in the mirror, each one of adorable feature you have - it is what makes you unique. However the harsh truth is; not everyone can see that (and that is okay!).
What matters is what we see because what we feel about ourselves, or how we react inside is all up to our internal world. We control what we can control - and in this case, we control what we want to see. If strength you see, then strength it will be.
If you find yourself channelling everything into the negatives, practice to counterbalance this by showing love to yourself instead of finding more reasons to hate that feature of yours.
In a world full of haters, learn to be your own strongest supporter.
Insecurity Talk 6 – “I think I love myself but some days I just don’t know what self-love really is.”
Loving ourselves is really a lifetime work of art. Some days you love yourself, some days you just lost it.
To know whether you are loved by yourself – listen to how you talk to yourself when no one is around. Imagine a scenario where your loved ones are having a hard time – what would you do?
If the person was you, would you do the same for yourself? Will you be willing to do as much as you would for them – for you? If the answer is no; you know you need to start loving you again.
Practice this and you would be surprised to see how low you have been putting yourself once you start comparing.
Insecurity Talk 7 – “I do not like what I see in the mirror.”
People say the thing you hate about yourself the most usually is the very thing someone else is wishing to have and this is why the grass is always greener on the other side.
In this generation of technology and fashion, there are people busy trying to catch the stars not knowing they already have beautiful constellations in their hands – face and body because all they see is other people’s beauty.
We forget to appreciate us, to embrace us.
Everyone is one of a kind – an art piece, and one thing about art piece is; while you might not see your own beauty, many others are seeing it. You just never know it.
The bottom line is, dealing with your insecurities in your journey of being confident is not linear and requires a lot of work internally.
There’s inevitable bumpy roads and you may have to drop by the gas station a dozen times but it is okay – you have a lifetime to reach there.
As long as you keep going, you are one step closer today than you were yesterday.
Let’s join us in our Loving Me, Again ongoing campaign. We are hosting a Giveaway Contest – you may be the lucky winner!
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